Correct Punctuation for Dialogue

[jeannerené]

Dialogue: Punctuation, Capitalization, Spacing

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www.foremostpress.com/authors/articles/punc_dial.html
Punctuating Dialogue
by Marg Gilks

Think about it: there's a pretty boggling array of punctuation marks at our disposal -- not just your run-of-the-mill sentence-enders like periods, question marks, and exclamation points, but slashes and dashes and dots of various sorts. I just used six of them in that first sentence, alone. No wonder some writers think of the whole mess as though it were Dorothy's lions and tigers and bears (oh my!).

Like it or not, punctuation is something you have to master. Think of all those odd marks as your guideposts for your readers. Punctuation marks tell readers to pause or stop when you intend them to; in partnership with the words you choose, they add meter and rhythm to your writing and make it dance off the page; they help convey emotion (...don't they? You bet!); they clarify your meaning. (What's your first reaction to this sentence?: "While we were eating the cat on the table jumped down." While we were eating the cat?! What a difference a comma makes!: "While we were eating, the cat on the table jumped down.")

Punctuation in dialogue can be particularly intimidating. Now you're constructing sentences in which characters are speaking sentences of their own! Where do all those punctuation marks go?

If your character utters a complete sentence, should you punctuate it as such? Only if that's all there is to it:

Mark pointed at the sky. "It's going to rain."

Here there are two separate actions, treated as two separate sentences. So you punctuate them as such, the only difference being that Mark's speech is indicated by being enclosed in quotation marks.

Dialogue Tags

What if you want to make sure the reader knows Mark is speaking by including a dialogue tag? If you're adding a straightforward tag like "he said," "Mark whispered," or "shouted Mark," that's part of the sentence, so you include it in the sentence with a comma:

"It's going to rain," Mark said.

Mark pointed at the sky and whispered, "It's going to rain."

Two mental tricks that may help: think of Mark's speech as something you're relating to a friend. You wouldn't say, "Then Mark said. It was going to rain." You'd say, "Mark said it was going to rain."

Or, try taking the quotation marks out and punctuating the sentence as a normal sentence:

It's going to rain, shouted Mark.

Then put in the quotation marks when you've got that sorted out:

"It's going to rain," shouted Mark.

Shouting implies that Mark is a bit more excited about all of this rain than a mere comma indicates, however. Perhaps an exclamation point would better signal his excitement to the reader. But an ! is ending punctuation, and you'd really like to make sure the reader knows Mark's the one getting excited. You can do this in two ways. You can avoid the whole issue of comma vs. exclamation mark by inverting the sentence and letting the exclamation mark fill its end-punctuation role:

Mark pointed at the sky and shouted, "It's going to rain!"

Or, you can take advantage of the double standard sometimes offered by quotation marks by treating them -- and what they enclose -- as something of a parenthetical element within the sentence. Just as you may enclose a comment in brackets (the proper term for these brackets is parentheses), you can think of anything within quotation marks as something a little separate from the rest of the sentence. In cases where you want to convey excitement or confusion, the comma can safely be replaced by an exclamation point or a question mark:

"It's going to rain!" Mark shouted.

"What do we do now?" asked Cindy.

Perhaps Cindy doesn't come right out and ask Mark what they should do, but only thinks this. There's a question involved, even if it's not spoken out loud. Where does the question mark fall?

Again, you could avoid the whole issue. You could fall back on exposition:

Cindy wondered what they would do now.

But you lose the immediacy by stepping out of your character's head and telling the reader what she's thinking. You don't want that.

It's perfectly all right to treat Cindy's internal dialogue as though she'd spoken it:

What do we do now? Cindy wondered.

Note that, in character dialogue, whether internal or spoken, the question mark always falls after the actual question, not after the dialogue tag at the end of the sentence. That's because you're relaying Cindy's thoughts, complete with the guideposts that will make them clear to the reader, not actually wondering yourself what the characters will do now -- one hopes.

Punctuation Within Dialogue

You have noticed by now that all end punctuation falls inside the closing quotation mark, right?

Correct: "It's going to rain," said Mark.

Incorrect: "It's going to rain", said Mark.

Okay, so what if you're writing a sentence in which your character is quoting what someone else said? How do you punctuate that so the reader can sort it all out? Simple. Just as you treat character dialogue as a parenthetical element within a sentence and flag it as dialogue by enclosing it within quotation marks, you treat the quote as parenthetical within the character's spoken sentence and flag it with single quotation marks:

"I don't like Cindy," Mark said. "I told her it was about to rain, but she turned to Biff and asked him, 'What do we do now?' instead of asking me."

Multi-Paragraph Quotes

Perhaps Mark has more to say about Cindy; maybe he goes on for several paragraphs, complaining about every little thing about her that annoys him. How to punctuate that? Well, he's still speaking, even though he's speaking so much, it needs to be broken into paragraphs. So, you start out with your opening quotation marks to signal to the reader that somebody's speaking. But when you reach the end of the first paragraph in Mark's tirade, you don't end that paragraph with closing quotation marks. By leaving the closing quotes out, you're telling the reader that Mark has more to say; drop your eyes down to the next paragraph, reader, and you'll read what more there is.

And when they do, there they find another set of opening quotation marks at the beginning of that paragraph, assuring them that yes, Mark's still speaking. And so on and so on, for as many paragraphs that Mark may speak, until the end of the last paragraph of his tirade, where he finally shuts up and you tell the reader so by inserting those long-awaited closing quotation marks:

"I don't like Cindy," Mark said. "I told her it was about to rain, but she turned to Biff and asked him, 'What do we do now?' instead of asking me.

"Now, if you ask me, Cindy's a bit snooty. She thinks she's too good for me, that I don't know anything except that it's going to rain. Well, let me tell you, I know a lot more than that!

"I know, for instance, that if it had happened in Antarctica, that rain would have been snow!"

What if Biff had been standing there listening, and didn't agree with what Mark was saying? What if he'd interrupted to say so? You signal the dialogue of each new speaker with its own quotation marks, and you make it even clearer to the reader that someone else is talking by giving the new speaker their own paragraph for their action:

"I don't like Cindy," Mark said. "I told her it was about to rain, but she turned to Biff and asked him, 'What do we do now?' instead of asking me.

"Now, if you ask me, Cindy's a bit snooty. She thinks she's too good for me, that I don't know anything except that it's going to rain."

"She's not snooty," Biff said. "She asked me because you don't know anything except when it's going to rain."

"Well, let me tell you, I know a lot more than that!" Mark retorted. "I know, for instance, that if it had happened in Antarctica, that rain would have been snow!

"I also know that you and Cindy are having an affair, and -- "

"Oh, shut up," growled Biff.

Just as you break a big project down into smaller parts to make it more manageable, if you break your dialogue sentences down into their separate sections, punctuation isn't so scary, after all.

Copyright © Marg Gilks
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users.wirefire.com/tritt/tip4.html
Avoid Creative Dialogue Tag Syndrome



"Just be like that," she pouted.

"Oh, come on," he groaned. "Not this again."

"You don't love me," she replied.

"Right," he snarled. "That's why I bought you an eight hundred dollar diamond."

"Here," she sobbed. "Just take it back. Take it."

Okay, what's wrong with our sample above (other than being melodramatic)? It's an ailment I like to call "Creative Dialogue Tag Syndrome" -- the writer relies on creative tags (pouted, groaned, replied, snarled, sobbed) so the reader will know how to interpret the dialogue. What's wrong with this? Let me count the things:

* The reader must interpret the tag and evaluate if the dialogue agrees with the tag. At best, it disrupts the flow. At worst, the reader decides the two are contradictory and the writer loses credibility.
* It is telling the reader how the words are said instead of showing.
* If the dialogue is well-written and the accompanying action is well-chosen, it is redundant.
* It is annoying.

Consider, instead:

Shelly's lower lip quivered. "Just be like that."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on," he said. "Not this again."

"You don't love me."

"Right," he said. "That's why I bought you an eight hundred dollar diamond."

"Here." She pulled off the ring and shoved it under his nose. "Just take it back," she said, her voice breaking. "Take it."

Okay, so nothing's going to help our melodrama too much, but let's still examine the techniques used. We scrapped every creative dialogue tag. Every one. We replaced each with one of four techniques:

* No tag at all. This allows the power of the words to stand alone. As long as we know who's speaking, no law says we must use a tag.
* Action. "Shelly's lower lip quivered" replaces "she pouted." It's more specific, it allows us to visualize Shelly, and it's showing, not telling.
* The prosaic "said." Yes, "said" is boring. It's overused. In fact, it is so boring and overused that it's invisible. Just like "the" and "a" and "his" and other parts of speech that are used several times on each page, "said" slides right past the reader and allows him to concentrate on what's important: the action and the dialogue.
* A combination of "said" and action. This is particularly effective when interrupting dialogue, as in the last sentence of the after example above.

While we are on the topic of dialogue tags, let's also talk about correct punctuation. If a tag is used (preferably "said," but an occasional "asked" or "repeated" is permitted), a comma separates the dialogue from the tag (see examples in sentences 2 and 4 above). If action only (no tag at all, as in the first sentence in the example) is used, it is considered a separate and complete sentence and should be punctuated as such. If it is necessary to interrupt a dialogue sentence, as in the last sentence in the above example, use the tag and action, thus allowing a comma instead of a period.

Note: "I love you," she smiled, is never correct. "Smiled" cannot be a tag; it is an action. Therefore, it can be written in one of two ways: "I love you," she said and smiled. - or - "I love you." She smiled.

If your dialogue contains a question, such as: "Who are you?" he asked, it is not necessary to punctuate with a question mark and use "asked" as a tag. This is personal choice and personally, I usually use the tag.

Dialogue is one of the most important tools a writer has to convey character and to build plot. Using it effectively means tagging it effectively. Read the before and after examples given here aloud. Hear the difference. Hear the redundancy. Hear the invisibility of the hardworking "said."

It will be the best friend you ever had.


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www.gabwhacker.com/xwp/bluequill/said1.asp
Basic dialogue punctuation

One of the most common problems for aspiring writers is properly punctuating dialogue. Fortunately, the correct form isn't that difficult.

A simple line of dialogue that isn't directly attributed to a speaker should be punctuated inside the quotation marks. Complete sentences before and after it are set off with periods.

Xena settled herself by the fire. "I'm starved."

Gabrielle handed the warrior a bowl. "Isn't that my line?" She had already finished her own supper.

If you want to directly identify the speaker, use the word "said" followed by a comma, then the quotation marks for the dialogue.

Scowling at her food, the warrior said, "Leeks? You know I hate leeks!"

When you put "said" *after* the dialogue, keep the comma *inside* the quotation marks and use a lowercase letter for the first word outside the quotation marks.

"You're beautiful when you're angry," said Gabrielle as she watched Xena throw the bowl into the campfire.

However, a question mark or an exclamation point takes the place of the comma.

"What did you just say?" Xena asked incredulously.

"You're beautiful!" repeated the bard.

If a sentence of dialogue has an attribution embedded in the middle, use commas on either side and continue with the next word of the sentence in lowercase.

"Don't you think," said the warrior uneasily, "that you've eaten enough of that nutbread?"

And if a character is addressed by name in the dialogue, that name should be set off by a comma.

"My thoughts exactly, Xena. I have other plans for tonight's dessert."

When dialogue is quoted inside of dialogue, use single quotation remarks to set it apart.

"What exactly do you mean by 'other plans'?"

When a character's dialogue continues for several paragraphs, drop the quote mark at the end of each intermediate paragraph.

Gabrielle smiled. "Well, as you know, I'm a bard. And as a bard, I have a highly developed imagination . . . which I've been exercising all evening long while I waited for you to arrive.

"Do you get my drift?

"Or do I have to draw you a picture?"

Xena swallowed, hard. Her pulse began to quicken. "Ah, that won't be necessary, Gabrielle. I have a rather good imagination myself at times."


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www.gabwhacker.com/xwp/bluequill/said2.asp
Say it again, with feeling


Writers use "said" to establish the speakers involved in a scene. However, once it is obvious who is talking, the tags can be dropped for at least a few rounds of dialogue.

"Their situation is urgent and dangerous," said Xena. "I'll have to travel fast."

The bard nodded. "I know...and I can guess what you're going to say next."

"Good, then you understand why I want you to stay here?"

"Oh, sure, I understand."

With a sigh, the warrior said, "Just once I wish you wouldn't take this personally."

Avoid using verbs such as "asked," "responded," "replied," or "answered" too often because it is obvious when a character has replied or asked a question.

As the warrior took her place in the saddle, Gabrielle stared impassively at the setting sun. She would have to make camp soon, on her own. "So, when will you be back?" she asked.

As you can see, the use of "she asked" adds nothing to the reader's understanding of the scene. The paragraph reads better without it.

As the warrior took her place in the saddle, Gabrielle stared impassively at the setting sun. She would have to make camp soon, on her own. "So, when will you be back?"

A typical tendency among beginning writers is to avoid the word "said" and to use any number of other verbs instead: suggested, cried, murmured, declared, stated, husked, whispered, etc. etc. etc. This is not necessary because "said" is considered to be invisible; don't hesitate to use it over and over again where needed to identify a speaker. Use a more colorful alternative to "said" sparingly and only when you want to signal an important change in emotion or tone.

Xena shrugged. "I won't take long. A week or two. Maybe three."

"Three weeks?" said Gabrielle. Then she said, "Well, that should give me plenty of time to finish my latest scroll."

This scene reads very differently by changing just one "said" to a more specific description of Gabrielle's reaction.

Xena shrugged. "I won't take long. A week or two. Maybe three."

"Three weeks?" whispered Gabrielle. Then she said, "Well, that should give me plenty of time to finish my latest scroll."

There are times when you can trust your dialogue to convey the strong emotion behind the character's voice. It doesn't always have to be described to the reader.

The warrior had already kicked Argo into a canter and was halfway down the road when Gabrielle broke into a run and shouted, "Xena, wait!"

At first glance, this might appear to be a good time to use a word other than "said," but the context and the exclamation point set the tone of the dialogue. You don't really need to tell the reader that Gabrielle is shouting. If you establish her as the logical speaker, you can let the dialogue stand on its own.

The warrior had already kicked Argo into a canter and was halfway down the road when Gabrielle broke into a run. "Xena, wait!"

This second version has more dramatic impact.

When two or more people are speaking to each other, remember to keep each person's reactions together with their speech.

Xena reined to a halt and looked down at the bard. "What is it, Gabrielle?" The woman took a gasping breath, trying to sort out her jumbled emotions.

"I just...I didn't say goodbye or be careful. You know, stuff like that."

Is it Xena or Gabrielle who is gasping? In this case, it was actually the bard who was out of breath, so the paragraph breaks need to be revised to read:

Xena reined to a halt and looked down at the bard. "What is it, Gabrielle?"

The woman took a gasping breath, trying to sort out her jumbled emotions. "I just...I didn't say goodbye or be careful. You know, stuff like that."

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