Post by jeannerené on Apr 15, 2008 23:01:53 GMT -8
Our first joint story from Make Me Wanna Read More. The prompt was taken from davidmm 25 words or less 1 to 2 sentence entry as an opening sentence to the story. Contributors to this story were davidmm, vulcan, secrets and jeannerene.
We all had fun participating. We all hope you enjoy reading.
It's Good Being Dead
It's good being dead. It means you can get away with murder.
I can see how puzzled you look, so maybe I should explain that statement. Let me introduce myself. My name is Clark, Tony Clark.
Or should that be that be 'the late Tony Clark!' You see I really am dead. Officially. I even have the death certificate to prove it. And here is the obituary notice from the local newspaper. You want to read it? No? Oh well, your choice. It's fun reading it though, let me say. It's certainly true that people say much nicer things about you when you are dead than when you are alive.
I can see from the frown on your face you obviously think I am crazy. Perhaps I am. But, when I get my hands on a cool five million I will be both rich and crazy!
Say, have you got a few minutes to spare? Of course you have! You obviously aren't going anywhere are you? You are well and truly tied to that chair, I made sure of that?
Hope I didn't hit you too hard; nothing personal, you understand but I guess I got a bit jittery hearing you snooping around outside.
So, just because I have a bit of time to kill, I will tell you the story ... it's not as if you will be telling anyone later, will you? END DAVID
Oh, and by the way, don't think I don't know why you were snooping around. Certainly that old cliche "curiosity killed the cat" can be called very apropos where you are concerned, right? You know, I've never taken too kindly to cats, I'm much more of a dog person. We had dog after dog on the farm, for that matter plenty of cats too. That reminds me of another saying, "can't run with the big dogs, if you piss like a puppy." Always got a kick outta that one. I'm sorry...I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble. You see I'm really just an ol' country boy at heart. But back to my story. I know you are dying to hear every last word.
Well, you see David. It is David, right? I took the liberty of removing your wallet while you were out cold. Sorry about that again. Anyway, you see David, just a little over six months ago I was alive and well. It was just a six months ago, last week in May in fact, I was able to make the dream of a lifetime come true. I moved here...here to this big, crazy, frightening, wonderfully outrageous city. No more countrified, piddly-assed suburbia for me, I was ready to make my mark. Oh, yes, it was so good to be alive and at the top of my world. END JEANNE
But soon it became apparent to me. This city isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know. You hear stories of people moving here and making their fortunes, but that don't really happen. People move here and go broke and end up sitting on a street corner beggin' change for cigarettes.
Are you payin' attention David? Good, because I'm about to get started. Anyway, I got here and tried, like hundreds of other people, to find my dream job as a writer for one of those big newspapers in the city, you know, the New York Times and such. Do you know what they did when i went for an interview? They laughed! They laughed at me!! Everywhere I went they said I wasn't qualified for the position. END VULCAN
But then you know all about that part of the story, don’t you David? They must have told you about me when they sent you to nuzzle your nose in places it don’t belong. Getting jittery are we, ropes a bit too tight? I don’t need your answer, in fact, I’m not interested in anything you have to say, so, I won’t be removing that tape from your mouth any time soon. See, from my position, dead that is, I know everything I need to know.
You may be asking yourself, how is a dead man gonna get his hands on five million bucks. I guess you’re not even sure how you can see me, or how I managed to knock you out and tie you up. Well, I’ll get to that in time. So where was I? Oh yeah! The interview. END SECRETS
They must have told you about the interview, right? They should have. You see I was interviewed for your job, David. I should be the one driving around town in a Mustang and nice suit. They obivously gave you the job; don't ask me why. They only difference i see is that you're from the city, and I'm not. Why does that make you special David? Why? Why?
I'm sorry. I lost my temper. I won't hit you again. Here let me get you a tissue; blood doesn't become you. Oh, never mind, your hands are tied aren't they? I guess you won't need a tissue after all. I would untie you so that you could wipe your face, you know. Except I can't; If i do i know that you will try and escape, and we can't have that can we?
Oh, right the interview, I went right before you did you know. I remember you, I remember everything. Apparently the newspapers don't appreciate things like photographic memories. I have one, a photographic memory I mean. Do you David? Do you?
They wouldn't even consider me. They didn't even look at my resume. The man, Mr.Little, He just politely told me that they were looking for someone with more experience, and showed me out of his office. Then he hired you, you little worm! You, fresh out of college, not even a journalism major. I have a degree in journalism. It's an associates degree though, and apparently that isn't good enough in New York. -END VULCAN-
Look, I gotta wipe that blood off your nose, I hate blood, reminds me of...anyway, after they rejected me, I was angry. I've always had a problem with anger, but then I guess you've noticed. I decided to get back at them and after brooding for a while, I came up with a plan. Now this bit David, this bit is the best part.
My uncle Jack had just come out of prison for armed robbery. He needed money and I had some savings put by. I was gonna pay Jack to break into Mr. Little's house. We were gonna rough him up a bit, then tie him and that sour faced wife of his up, and then trash his house and take anything of value. I couldn't wait to bring Little down. He had all the power, he could have given me that job, but oh no, he preferred a weasel like you. Well I was gonna have all the power. I was going to make him wish he'd never been born. END SECRETS
But that's when it dawned on me. You don't understand do you? Let me try to explain. I was going to make him wish he'd never been born, but then I thought maybe... just maybe I could make him wish that I had never been born. All kinds of possibilities going in that direction. I don't have to get my hands dirty or muss up my pretty suit. I'd let Mr. Little do the dirty work.
Remember I mentioned my photographic memory David? It does come in handy sometimes and I like to ... let's say... use it to my advantage when ever I can. Mr. Little and Ms. Romano, that leggy editor in chief (who I'm sure you've become well acquainted with by now) might have laughed at my small town credentials, but I took some solace in the fact that I walked out of that office knowing more about Ted Little than he would every learn about me in a lifetime. Of course, that lifetime wasn't to be long was it. Or was it David? Do you know which it is?
"Mr. Clark, we couldn't help but notice that all your experience is from your hometown" that Ms. Oh-I'm-So-Sophisticated Romano sniggered, "Truly you understand why we would hesitate to consider you for a position." She tapped her pen in a series of three tapes "Mr. Clark, we couldn't help but notice"...tap, tap, tap..."that all your experience" ...tap, tap, tap... ''is from your home town" ... tap, tap, tap. You'd think noticing stuff like that would drive me crazy .....
What did you notice David during your interview? Did you notice that good ol' boy Ted has a hankering to hunt moose in upstate New York, near Lake Desolation and Lake George? Top upper right shelve, the bookcase to the left of his desk quite a collection of moose hunting in America, and of course it helped to have spotted last year's hunting license tucked into the corner of the memo board just above the coffee maker.
You know David I stewed for days after I was rejected, wanted to get my Uncle Jack involved, do the whole rough-up business like I said, but funny enough I came away too with a curiosity I just couldn't contain about those darn moose and got on line to look up what I could and gosh your State Wildlife officials say the Adirondack is having a moose boom. And the collisions between moose and man ... well, they simply should not be on the road together. You can't imagine how upset I was to find out there been fatalities, both to the poor moose and on occasion to some unfortunate man.
Fascinating I thought to myself, Mr. City Boy has a little country tucked down deep inside of him. Lake Desolation, well, it's just like its name sounds. Light bulbs are going on, the hamster is spinning round the wheel David, you know what I mean.
OK ... it's your turn. I'm going to take the tape off so you can tell good ol' Tony boy something he doesn't know. If you yell, I can't promise I won't kill you. END JEANNE
That better David. I can see you are wondering what I’m gonna ask you. Okay, well see, I want to know about Little’s daughter. Don’t look so afraid, I’m not gonna hurt Julie, why would I, I love her. I know, I know, you have a thing for her too. You can’t honestly think she would be interested in a weed like you. It’s because of her I didn’t, well, lets just say she is the only good thing Little has ever produced. She has no idea see, no idea about any of this.
I went out of my way to accidentally, on purpose, get to know her. I followed her for a few weeks. She used to frequent that nice little café opposite Little’s office. So, one day, I started a conversation and then wormed my way into her affections. I hadn’t intended to fall in love, oh no sir, I had different plans for her. But, well love just happened; you know what it’s like. No, don’t speak yet, hear me, not until I ask my questions and then all I want is plain and simple answers.
So… back to Lake Desolation. Now I know Little takes his family down there sometimes, and I knew he was taking Julie and her mother last month. END SECRETS
So, I hatched this plan. It started out simple. I'll kill them at the cottage, but the I got to thinking. Uncle Jack could do it. He's got much more experience in such things, doesn't he? Are you listening to me David? I really need you to listen,OK. I've pulled off the perfect revenge, and of coarse I can't tell anyone. Anyone, that is, except you. You aren't going to leave this room alive, ever! You know too much already, you little worm.
But I digress. My uncle Jack, you see, isn't much older than me. He and my dad are 15 years apart, and he was only about 6 when I was born. We even look sorta alike. So I figure it would be easy. I bought a life insurance policy, a five million dollar policy, and I named Jack as my beneficiary. Nothing strange about that is there, David? huh?
That's right there isn't. No one would suspect anything. Then when they went up to the cottage, Uncle Jack killed them. Now, I don't know the particulars of it. As I said earlier, I don't like blood. But I do know that he made very clear to them that I was responsible for their deaths, and that he spit on their faces.
You think that's just for spite don't you? It's not. That way there was DNA at the crime scene, so they could know that uncle jack killed them when they found the body, but I'm getting ahead of my self. This is where it gets good.
You see, as I said, Jack and I looked alike. So when he came back and told me what he had done, I killed him. Not in my house, of coarse, I killed him in a back ally, in a bad neighborhood. I was very sure to make sure there was nothing leading back to me. In fact I planted some DNA on the body, and used a knife that had finger prints on it from the same guy. Isn't that smart David?
Your right, I really am brilliant. I should have gotten your job you know. I don't know why they picked you. Do you know?
That is not a very good reason!!! Not a good reason at all, David!! You could never have pulled off what I had done. You see when I killed him, i took his wallet and planted mine on him. We looked enough alike that no one would question it. So now Jack, that is to say, I am dead, and I, excuse me, Jack is going to get five million dollars as soon as the police finish the investigation.
That's part of the reason why your here. I want to know how far they are from being done. The sooner I get that money and leave, the better for me. I hate this city! So are they done? Have they brought that poor kid in yet? Did he know I stole his knife? tell me!
Really? That close? Two weeks? Good, thank you David. You have been very helpful. I almost wish I didn't have to kill you. I read about your wedding in the paper. It's a shame you won't have any children to continue your legacy. You will? Twins on the way, huh? Congratulations!
I tell you what, I'm going to move to a ranch in Montana, but I'm going to keep in touch with some of my uncles... associates. You know the ones I mean. Some might call them the mob, but to me they're family. And so long as you keep your mouth shut, my family will never meet yours. Do you understand? If you understand I'll let you go, and I tell you what, I'll make you a deal. Once I'm dead you can publish the story. Sell it to what ever newspaper will give you mist for it. I'll even send you proof, I mean I'll will it to you. You know it's kinda hard to send things when your dead. How strange for me, of all people, to say that. I'm dead you know. END VULCAN
THE END
We all had fun participating. We all hope you enjoy reading.
It's Good Being Dead
It's good being dead. It means you can get away with murder.
I can see how puzzled you look, so maybe I should explain that statement. Let me introduce myself. My name is Clark, Tony Clark.
Or should that be that be 'the late Tony Clark!' You see I really am dead. Officially. I even have the death certificate to prove it. And here is the obituary notice from the local newspaper. You want to read it? No? Oh well, your choice. It's fun reading it though, let me say. It's certainly true that people say much nicer things about you when you are dead than when you are alive.
I can see from the frown on your face you obviously think I am crazy. Perhaps I am. But, when I get my hands on a cool five million I will be both rich and crazy!
Say, have you got a few minutes to spare? Of course you have! You obviously aren't going anywhere are you? You are well and truly tied to that chair, I made sure of that?
Hope I didn't hit you too hard; nothing personal, you understand but I guess I got a bit jittery hearing you snooping around outside.
So, just because I have a bit of time to kill, I will tell you the story ... it's not as if you will be telling anyone later, will you? END DAVID
Oh, and by the way, don't think I don't know why you were snooping around. Certainly that old cliche "curiosity killed the cat" can be called very apropos where you are concerned, right? You know, I've never taken too kindly to cats, I'm much more of a dog person. We had dog after dog on the farm, for that matter plenty of cats too. That reminds me of another saying, "can't run with the big dogs, if you piss like a puppy." Always got a kick outta that one. I'm sorry...I'm sorry, I don't mean to ramble. You see I'm really just an ol' country boy at heart. But back to my story. I know you are dying to hear every last word.
Well, you see David. It is David, right? I took the liberty of removing your wallet while you were out cold. Sorry about that again. Anyway, you see David, just a little over six months ago I was alive and well. It was just a six months ago, last week in May in fact, I was able to make the dream of a lifetime come true. I moved here...here to this big, crazy, frightening, wonderfully outrageous city. No more countrified, piddly-assed suburbia for me, I was ready to make my mark. Oh, yes, it was so good to be alive and at the top of my world. END JEANNE
But soon it became apparent to me. This city isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know. You hear stories of people moving here and making their fortunes, but that don't really happen. People move here and go broke and end up sitting on a street corner beggin' change for cigarettes.
Are you payin' attention David? Good, because I'm about to get started. Anyway, I got here and tried, like hundreds of other people, to find my dream job as a writer for one of those big newspapers in the city, you know, the New York Times and such. Do you know what they did when i went for an interview? They laughed! They laughed at me!! Everywhere I went they said I wasn't qualified for the position. END VULCAN
But then you know all about that part of the story, don’t you David? They must have told you about me when they sent you to nuzzle your nose in places it don’t belong. Getting jittery are we, ropes a bit too tight? I don’t need your answer, in fact, I’m not interested in anything you have to say, so, I won’t be removing that tape from your mouth any time soon. See, from my position, dead that is, I know everything I need to know.
You may be asking yourself, how is a dead man gonna get his hands on five million bucks. I guess you’re not even sure how you can see me, or how I managed to knock you out and tie you up. Well, I’ll get to that in time. So where was I? Oh yeah! The interview. END SECRETS
They must have told you about the interview, right? They should have. You see I was interviewed for your job, David. I should be the one driving around town in a Mustang and nice suit. They obivously gave you the job; don't ask me why. They only difference i see is that you're from the city, and I'm not. Why does that make you special David? Why? Why?
I'm sorry. I lost my temper. I won't hit you again. Here let me get you a tissue; blood doesn't become you. Oh, never mind, your hands are tied aren't they? I guess you won't need a tissue after all. I would untie you so that you could wipe your face, you know. Except I can't; If i do i know that you will try and escape, and we can't have that can we?
Oh, right the interview, I went right before you did you know. I remember you, I remember everything. Apparently the newspapers don't appreciate things like photographic memories. I have one, a photographic memory I mean. Do you David? Do you?
They wouldn't even consider me. They didn't even look at my resume. The man, Mr.Little, He just politely told me that they were looking for someone with more experience, and showed me out of his office. Then he hired you, you little worm! You, fresh out of college, not even a journalism major. I have a degree in journalism. It's an associates degree though, and apparently that isn't good enough in New York. -END VULCAN-
Look, I gotta wipe that blood off your nose, I hate blood, reminds me of...anyway, after they rejected me, I was angry. I've always had a problem with anger, but then I guess you've noticed. I decided to get back at them and after brooding for a while, I came up with a plan. Now this bit David, this bit is the best part.
My uncle Jack had just come out of prison for armed robbery. He needed money and I had some savings put by. I was gonna pay Jack to break into Mr. Little's house. We were gonna rough him up a bit, then tie him and that sour faced wife of his up, and then trash his house and take anything of value. I couldn't wait to bring Little down. He had all the power, he could have given me that job, but oh no, he preferred a weasel like you. Well I was gonna have all the power. I was going to make him wish he'd never been born. END SECRETS
But that's when it dawned on me. You don't understand do you? Let me try to explain. I was going to make him wish he'd never been born, but then I thought maybe... just maybe I could make him wish that I had never been born. All kinds of possibilities going in that direction. I don't have to get my hands dirty or muss up my pretty suit. I'd let Mr. Little do the dirty work.
Remember I mentioned my photographic memory David? It does come in handy sometimes and I like to ... let's say... use it to my advantage when ever I can. Mr. Little and Ms. Romano, that leggy editor in chief (who I'm sure you've become well acquainted with by now) might have laughed at my small town credentials, but I took some solace in the fact that I walked out of that office knowing more about Ted Little than he would every learn about me in a lifetime. Of course, that lifetime wasn't to be long was it. Or was it David? Do you know which it is?
"Mr. Clark, we couldn't help but notice that all your experience is from your hometown" that Ms. Oh-I'm-So-Sophisticated Romano sniggered, "Truly you understand why we would hesitate to consider you for a position." She tapped her pen in a series of three tapes "Mr. Clark, we couldn't help but notice"...tap, tap, tap..."that all your experience" ...tap, tap, tap... ''is from your home town" ... tap, tap, tap. You'd think noticing stuff like that would drive me crazy .....
What did you notice David during your interview? Did you notice that good ol' boy Ted has a hankering to hunt moose in upstate New York, near Lake Desolation and Lake George? Top upper right shelve, the bookcase to the left of his desk quite a collection of moose hunting in America, and of course it helped to have spotted last year's hunting license tucked into the corner of the memo board just above the coffee maker.
You know David I stewed for days after I was rejected, wanted to get my Uncle Jack involved, do the whole rough-up business like I said, but funny enough I came away too with a curiosity I just couldn't contain about those darn moose and got on line to look up what I could and gosh your State Wildlife officials say the Adirondack is having a moose boom. And the collisions between moose and man ... well, they simply should not be on the road together. You can't imagine how upset I was to find out there been fatalities, both to the poor moose and on occasion to some unfortunate man.
Fascinating I thought to myself, Mr. City Boy has a little country tucked down deep inside of him. Lake Desolation, well, it's just like its name sounds. Light bulbs are going on, the hamster is spinning round the wheel David, you know what I mean.
OK ... it's your turn. I'm going to take the tape off so you can tell good ol' Tony boy something he doesn't know. If you yell, I can't promise I won't kill you. END JEANNE
That better David. I can see you are wondering what I’m gonna ask you. Okay, well see, I want to know about Little’s daughter. Don’t look so afraid, I’m not gonna hurt Julie, why would I, I love her. I know, I know, you have a thing for her too. You can’t honestly think she would be interested in a weed like you. It’s because of her I didn’t, well, lets just say she is the only good thing Little has ever produced. She has no idea see, no idea about any of this.
I went out of my way to accidentally, on purpose, get to know her. I followed her for a few weeks. She used to frequent that nice little café opposite Little’s office. So, one day, I started a conversation and then wormed my way into her affections. I hadn’t intended to fall in love, oh no sir, I had different plans for her. But, well love just happened; you know what it’s like. No, don’t speak yet, hear me, not until I ask my questions and then all I want is plain and simple answers.
So… back to Lake Desolation. Now I know Little takes his family down there sometimes, and I knew he was taking Julie and her mother last month. END SECRETS
So, I hatched this plan. It started out simple. I'll kill them at the cottage, but the I got to thinking. Uncle Jack could do it. He's got much more experience in such things, doesn't he? Are you listening to me David? I really need you to listen,OK. I've pulled off the perfect revenge, and of coarse I can't tell anyone. Anyone, that is, except you. You aren't going to leave this room alive, ever! You know too much already, you little worm.
But I digress. My uncle Jack, you see, isn't much older than me. He and my dad are 15 years apart, and he was only about 6 when I was born. We even look sorta alike. So I figure it would be easy. I bought a life insurance policy, a five million dollar policy, and I named Jack as my beneficiary. Nothing strange about that is there, David? huh?
That's right there isn't. No one would suspect anything. Then when they went up to the cottage, Uncle Jack killed them. Now, I don't know the particulars of it. As I said earlier, I don't like blood. But I do know that he made very clear to them that I was responsible for their deaths, and that he spit on their faces.
You think that's just for spite don't you? It's not. That way there was DNA at the crime scene, so they could know that uncle jack killed them when they found the body, but I'm getting ahead of my self. This is where it gets good.
You see, as I said, Jack and I looked alike. So when he came back and told me what he had done, I killed him. Not in my house, of coarse, I killed him in a back ally, in a bad neighborhood. I was very sure to make sure there was nothing leading back to me. In fact I planted some DNA on the body, and used a knife that had finger prints on it from the same guy. Isn't that smart David?
Your right, I really am brilliant. I should have gotten your job you know. I don't know why they picked you. Do you know?
That is not a very good reason!!! Not a good reason at all, David!! You could never have pulled off what I had done. You see when I killed him, i took his wallet and planted mine on him. We looked enough alike that no one would question it. So now Jack, that is to say, I am dead, and I, excuse me, Jack is going to get five million dollars as soon as the police finish the investigation.
That's part of the reason why your here. I want to know how far they are from being done. The sooner I get that money and leave, the better for me. I hate this city! So are they done? Have they brought that poor kid in yet? Did he know I stole his knife? tell me!
Really? That close? Two weeks? Good, thank you David. You have been very helpful. I almost wish I didn't have to kill you. I read about your wedding in the paper. It's a shame you won't have any children to continue your legacy. You will? Twins on the way, huh? Congratulations!
I tell you what, I'm going to move to a ranch in Montana, but I'm going to keep in touch with some of my uncles... associates. You know the ones I mean. Some might call them the mob, but to me they're family. And so long as you keep your mouth shut, my family will never meet yours. Do you understand? If you understand I'll let you go, and I tell you what, I'll make you a deal. Once I'm dead you can publish the story. Sell it to what ever newspaper will give you mist for it. I'll even send you proof, I mean I'll will it to you. You know it's kinda hard to send things when your dead. How strange for me, of all people, to say that. I'm dead you know. END VULCAN
THE END
