Sofie

[vulcan13]

This is just a short bit I came up with while procrastinating. I like to hear opinions!

Sofie

"Who are you?" Sofie called through the darkness to the stranger who sat atop a large stone blocking the road through the ravine.

"Who are you?" He echoed.

"I just want to get through here."

"That's not what I asked," he laughed.

"I am just a traveler."

"I am just an impediment."

"My name is Sofie," She called up to him, although he really wasn't that high. "Is there a way around?"

"There is no way around, Sofie," the stranger responded. "I'd be careful who I gave that name to in the future."

"Well, what is your name?" Sofie responded indignantly. "Fair is fair."

"I have no name," The stranger responded, raising his eyes to meet hers for the first time. "It was stolen from me."

"How can someone steal a name?"

"I was to trusting. He asked for it, and I gave it willingly, just as you did."

"So are you going to steal my name?" Sofie asked with a shudder of realization.

"No," the stranger responded raising his eyes to the sky. "I will not, Sofie. I can't steal a name; I can only be given one. One can't steal a name unless he already has one of his own, but I am pleased to know your name."

"If there is no way around, how can I get to where I am going?"

"Do you know where you are going?"

"Not really, no," Sofie answered.

"Then how do you know you aren't there?"

"I know!" Sofie insisted. "Where I am going is over this stone." The stranger was silent. "What are you doing up there?"

"This is where I must sit. I must do as I am told. Nameless people must always do as they are told."

"Who told you?" Sofie asked.

"The one was has my name," the stranger responded still staring up at the stars. "He can see me now, and he is watching. I cannot disobey him."

"When can he not see you?" Sofie asked stepping forward.

"No step away!" The stranger yelled, throwing up a hand. "Wait until he looks away."

Sofie stood still and waited and waited and waited. The stranger did not look back at her until the sun began to rise. Then he climbed easily down from his perch and with strong confident motions helped her over the rock. "Good luck, Sofie." He said as he lowered her down the other side of the boulder. "I hope you find where you are going."

"You too Stranger," Sofie said carefully. "Thank you." She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"No," Stranger said with a wry grin. "Thank you."

Sofie continued on her way down the road for half a mile, before turning back and seeing that both the rock and the man on top of it had vanished. 

[rocha]

Ok Vulcan...here's my opinion. This little story has a wonderful "Alice" dream- like feel to it. If I were a psycho-analyst...(God forbid)...I might say that " You are Sofie".....and you are on a quest to an unknown place in search of...wisdom?....but your path is blocked by someone or something with no name. The reference to the rising sun might suggest enlightenment or maybe simply time itself. The one who blocks your path had his name stolen....by life or by God....which might mean his real name could be either. But in the end Sofie finds her way through the ravine...and on to her quest. If I were a psycho-analyst.... I would say...this poem is about getting to where you want to go.....but thankfully ....I am just a scribbler....and I think it's
a great little dream poem.

[vulcan13]

thanks Rocha! That is really cool! I hadn't actually thought about it like that, but in some ways that makes a lot of sense. At the moment I am really into the whole power of names thing, so the fact that he had no name was just kinda a passing thought, but it lead to my own kinda cool subtle conclusion (maybe too subtle i guees) where she names him Stranger, and then since he has a name he can leave... I was just killing time, but i really like it i think.

[rocha]

Hmmmm...It did cross my mind that you called him Stranger...and that may have saved him....but like you say....you may need to strengthen the point...for the sake of clarity. Good job V.

[vulcan13]

thanks Rocha!

[jeannerené]

Vulcan ....

Nice Vulcan ... you took a puzzle and followed it through logically and I liked it. Pretty much what Rocha said .... if analyzing ... I would agree with. However, I think what I enjoyed the most was the fact that you took on the challenge of a puzzle.

... enjoyed ...

.j.

[vulcan13]

thanks Jeanne! I am glad you enjoyed it.

[whisper]

Well, I'm not so experienced as Jeanne or Rocha, so I'm not going to offer any amazing insight as to what this could've meant or what your mind could've been thinking as you wrote this. I just plain enjoyed the story. I loved the questions it raised and how so many of them weren't answered. I love little stories like this that leave things up to the reader's interpretation. Like, who was the one who stole Stranger's name? Why is he always watching and why did he look away long enough for Stranger to help Sophie over the rock?

Maybe these questions are too literal, that it wasn't meant to be read this way. But I read literally, I guess. I read it first and then I look for meaning second. I enjoyed the story as it is without anything hidden underneath =]

[vulcan13]

Thanks Whisper! I'm sorry it took me so long to respond, I haven't been on much. I wrote it literally, so reading it literally is totally appropriate. I am glad you enjoyed the questions, and I am glad that you appreciate them despite their not being answered. I don't have any answers to them, but i think that makes up half the fun.