Post by festus50 on May 22, 2009 22:46:17 GMT -8
DR: For the record please state your full name.
SAL: Salvador Titus Wildemars
DR: Why do you need help?
SAL: Doctor I was bought and sold in garage sales
my entire life.
DR: How does that make you feel?
SAL: Cheap and dirty.
DR: Please continue
SAL: The last sale, I'll never forget this,
a woman notices I cost twenty dollars
she goes up to my step mom and
says; "would you go down on him?"
My step mom says; "I beg your pardon?"
"I'm sorry, I ment on the price."
The woman bought me for ten dollars
doctor, ten lousy bucks.
DR: That's messed up tell me about your life
after the sale.
SAL: Well , I started working in a store over
on 77th Street.
DR: "Just Wing Nuts."
SAL: Yeah and these smart-alic kids
used to come in after school and yell,
"hey you got any toggle bolts?" then
run out of the store laughing.
Later on I started my own business;
"Mayor Temps" a small town mayoral
temporary service.
DR : I guess Mayor's call in sick once in
a while.
SAL: The only calls I got on the service where
crank calls.
DR: Are you married?
SAL: Yes I married Wendy Clapsaddle
three years ago. She's beautiful doctor
she helped me to overcome my biggest fear.
DR: what is your biggest fear?
SAL: Garage sales.
DR: Yes, of course.
SAL: She made me go to a garage sale so I went
and overcame my fear.
DR: That's great!
SAL: Wendy bought this painting for a dollar.
We took it to the Antiques Road Show and
found out it is an original by Verner Von Clockhead
DR: Clockhead?
SAL: Yeah it's dated back to 1902, Verner was
Germany's only one-armed painter of his day.
DR: What is the painting called?
SAL: "Gertrude Juggling Gerbils", his wife
was named Gertrude. The painting is worth
over a quarter-million dollars.
DR: Super! So why are you here Sal?
SAL: I'm a sexually frustrated insomniac
the other night I was counting sheep
and they were all wearing garter belts.
DR: Auuh, yeah I see, well let's continue
this tomorrow.
SAL: Same time?
DR: Same time.
SAL: Salvador Titus Wildemars
DR: Why do you need help?
SAL: Doctor I was bought and sold in garage sales
my entire life.
DR: How does that make you feel?
SAL: Cheap and dirty.
DR: Please continue
SAL: The last sale, I'll never forget this,
a woman notices I cost twenty dollars
she goes up to my step mom and
says; "would you go down on him?"
My step mom says; "I beg your pardon?"
"I'm sorry, I ment on the price."
The woman bought me for ten dollars
doctor, ten lousy bucks.
DR: That's messed up tell me about your life
after the sale.
SAL: Well , I started working in a store over
on 77th Street.
DR: "Just Wing Nuts."
SAL: Yeah and these smart-alic kids
used to come in after school and yell,
"hey you got any toggle bolts?" then
run out of the store laughing.
Later on I started my own business;
"Mayor Temps" a small town mayoral
temporary service.
DR : I guess Mayor's call in sick once in
a while.
SAL: The only calls I got on the service where
crank calls.
DR: Are you married?
SAL: Yes I married Wendy Clapsaddle
three years ago. She's beautiful doctor
she helped me to overcome my biggest fear.
DR: what is your biggest fear?
SAL: Garage sales.
DR: Yes, of course.
SAL: She made me go to a garage sale so I went
and overcame my fear.
DR: That's great!
SAL: Wendy bought this painting for a dollar.
We took it to the Antiques Road Show and
found out it is an original by Verner Von Clockhead
DR: Clockhead?
SAL: Yeah it's dated back to 1902, Verner was
Germany's only one-armed painter of his day.
DR: What is the painting called?
SAL: "Gertrude Juggling Gerbils", his wife
was named Gertrude. The painting is worth
over a quarter-million dollars.
DR: Super! So why are you here Sal?
SAL: I'm a sexually frustrated insomniac
the other night I was counting sheep
and they were all wearing garter belts.
DR: Auuh, yeah I see, well let's continue
this tomorrow.
SAL: Same time?
DR: Same time.
