Post by aatiyah*away 4 a while* on Apr 6, 2008 21:42:44 GMT -8
This is an essay I wrote for Minds Matter, a mentoring program I am enrolled in. We worked on this essay for about 10 hours in total and I think it payed off looking back.
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Title: How becoming Valedictorian Changed My Life
Author: Me---Aatiyah
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“Attiiyyaa…Attiiyyaa…Attiiyyaa…Attiiyyaa…”
I never imaged that I would be here, on this stage, before my peers. I am standing as their leader, their valedictorian, as myself. Whispers of congratulations, glimmering tear drops, and a roar of applause stir the room with a glorious sound. But for me, time had frozen still. I could no longer feel the warmth in my body. Click! The cameras slowly blinded me (click) until all I could see was white. My words waited to paint the canvas. I opened my mouth…and paused. It had taken me so much to get here, to this moment. The shy, timid and unnoticed girl was gone, and in her place was a strong confident and bold young woman.
I had been the outcast of the social ladder. Never quite fitting into one group, yet never separate enough to be completely ignored. For social events, my name was always mentioned by teachers or administrators, but I longed to be considered by my peers. I was often called upon to help with homework, class work and projects. But once the tests and stress were gone, so were my “friends.” And me? There I was -- waiting, hoping and wishing. My intelligence, dedication and passion for my work had only given me temporary, plastic friendships.
With guys it was even harder. In my neighborhood they liked girls with flat muscular stomachs, thick hips, small feet and light eyes. I was, and still am, chubby. I have hazelnut eyes, a size 10 shoe and hips with no curves. My hair is black, course, rough and short. What’s more, my clothes were from the Salvation Army, my personality was loud, unpredictable and different. I was an independent thinker. It was as if the word “No” was stamped across my body. But that did not stop me from having crushes and experiencing heartbreak.
His name was Randy and all I could think about was getting his attention. It was October 17, 2007, the day I went to school intent on telling him my secret crush. My nails were painted crimson. My hair was in a French bun and I wore the best black dress I owned. I was ready to admit my feelings, despite knowing he was one of those guys. And as I feared, he rejected me! He chose someone else, who I could never be. I cried that whole day. And the next, and the next. That pain ached for three long years.
But here I was, on this stage as the chanting of my name coursed through the auditorium. Plastered smiles and glistening eyes belonged to the very same people who had once had no interest in me. They knew my name! They were chanting for me! All this is for me, the little girl who had no dream but to fit in and have the greatest guy as mine. Standing here was just me, and I was accepted.
Becoming valedictorian gave me more than recognition and a title. It gave me pride, self-confidence and appreciation of what I am and what I love to do. It also made me realize that it was unhealthy to desire a male who would want me to sacrifice who I am. It took me so long to become comfortable in my skin and I realized that indulging his wants was impossible. That chanting reminded me that I shouldn’t change who I am for anyone, since so many like me as I am now. After all, being who I am is what got me on this stage, in the first place.
Since then I have become the public relations representative of my high school, nominated by my peers and teachers. Now I am happy, confident and comfortable with myself, which makes it easy for others to come to me with ease for anything.
____________________________-
Title: How becoming Valedictorian Changed My Life
Author: Me---Aatiyah
____________
“Attiiyyaa…Attiiyyaa…Attiiyyaa…Attiiyyaa…”
I never imaged that I would be here, on this stage, before my peers. I am standing as their leader, their valedictorian, as myself. Whispers of congratulations, glimmering tear drops, and a roar of applause stir the room with a glorious sound. But for me, time had frozen still. I could no longer feel the warmth in my body. Click! The cameras slowly blinded me (click) until all I could see was white. My words waited to paint the canvas. I opened my mouth…and paused. It had taken me so much to get here, to this moment. The shy, timid and unnoticed girl was gone, and in her place was a strong confident and bold young woman.
I had been the outcast of the social ladder. Never quite fitting into one group, yet never separate enough to be completely ignored. For social events, my name was always mentioned by teachers or administrators, but I longed to be considered by my peers. I was often called upon to help with homework, class work and projects. But once the tests and stress were gone, so were my “friends.” And me? There I was -- waiting, hoping and wishing. My intelligence, dedication and passion for my work had only given me temporary, plastic friendships.
With guys it was even harder. In my neighborhood they liked girls with flat muscular stomachs, thick hips, small feet and light eyes. I was, and still am, chubby. I have hazelnut eyes, a size 10 shoe and hips with no curves. My hair is black, course, rough and short. What’s more, my clothes were from the Salvation Army, my personality was loud, unpredictable and different. I was an independent thinker. It was as if the word “No” was stamped across my body. But that did not stop me from having crushes and experiencing heartbreak.
His name was Randy and all I could think about was getting his attention. It was October 17, 2007, the day I went to school intent on telling him my secret crush. My nails were painted crimson. My hair was in a French bun and I wore the best black dress I owned. I was ready to admit my feelings, despite knowing he was one of those guys. And as I feared, he rejected me! He chose someone else, who I could never be. I cried that whole day. And the next, and the next. That pain ached for three long years.
But here I was, on this stage as the chanting of my name coursed through the auditorium. Plastered smiles and glistening eyes belonged to the very same people who had once had no interest in me. They knew my name! They were chanting for me! All this is for me, the little girl who had no dream but to fit in and have the greatest guy as mine. Standing here was just me, and I was accepted.
Becoming valedictorian gave me more than recognition and a title. It gave me pride, self-confidence and appreciation of what I am and what I love to do. It also made me realize that it was unhealthy to desire a male who would want me to sacrifice who I am. It took me so long to become comfortable in my skin and I realized that indulging his wants was impossible. That chanting reminded me that I shouldn’t change who I am for anyone, since so many like me as I am now. After all, being who I am is what got me on this stage, in the first place.
Since then I have become the public relations representative of my high school, nominated by my peers and teachers. Now I am happy, confident and comfortable with myself, which makes it easy for others to come to me with ease for anything.
!!!
