Post by ArwingAce21 on Dec 23, 2007 11:04:55 GMT -8
Finally, after what seemed like forever, I have a new Millioniare update!!! <Insert Wild, Unrestrained Applause With Every First Letter Capitalized Here>
“Okay, for a guaranteed 1,000 credits, what is the square root of 241.89? A: 21.93, B: 39.12, C: 15.55, or D: Cheese.”
“What? Well, uhh, I can’t rightfully say that I know. I never was much on math. I believe I’ll use my phone a friend lifeline.”
“And who would you like to call?”
“Peppy Hare, our retired wingman and generally knowledgeable guy.”
“Okay, we’ll try to connect you to him. This lifeline, courtesy of TT&A phone company will give you thirty seconds to figure out the answer. Start the clock!”
Fox desperately hoped Peppy would be there. No one knew he’d be on the show today, but Peppy was usually at home.
“Ring……Ring……Ring……Hello. You have reached Peppy Hare. I’m not in right now, but leave you name, number, and a brief message, and I will return your call…”
“I’m afraid he isn’t there, Fox.”
“…Unless this is Fox calling from Millionaire, in which case the answer is C: 15.55, which is actually a rounded figure. The full decimal is really 15.552813-”
“Time’s up. Looks like Peppy pulled through after all.
“Wow, wasn’t expecting that. I’m surprised he didn’t say ‘Don’t worry, Fox. Trust your instincts!’ like he always says.”
“Vibbbbbbbbbbbb…”
“Sorry, Reginald. I got a text message. Hey, it’s from Peppy! It says: ‘Don’t worry, Fox. Trust your instincts!’ Figures.”
“What’s your final answer?”
“I’m going with Peppy. C, 15.55, final answer”
“You have 1,000 credits, congratulations!”
“Whoo!!!” Fox was ecstatic.
“Let’s move on. For 2,000 credits, here’s the next question: If a tree falls down in a forest, and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound? A: Yes, B: No, C: Depends on the type of tree, or D: Only on Tuesdays.”
The camera zoomed in on Krystal, who was fuming.
She jumped out of her seat and said: “What type of question is that!?! That’s a riddle, not trivia!”
“Woah, calm down Krystal!” Reginald couldn’t let her get too riled up. But before he could say anything more, Fox cut him off.
“Relax, Krys. I read this one in a riddle book before. The answer is D, final answer.”
“Correct! Only nine more questions, and you’ll have a cool million!”
“All right, carry on.”
“This one’s worth 4,000 credits. Which music group recently won a major award in the category ‘Best Celtic/Polka Tune Played While Riding Unicycles’ with their hit single, ‘Woah! I’m Losing My Balance!’ Was it A: The Accordion Nomads, B: Donald and the Trumps, C: The Jolly Green Geezers, or D: One-Wheeled Wonder?”
“You mean that’s a type of music?”
“Hey, I just read the questions, the nutjob writing this story makes them up.”
“I think I’m polling the audience on this one.”
“Okay, audience, pick up your voting devices and vote now.”
“Uhh, Fox, I don’t think the results are going to help you much.”
“Why’s that?”
“25% say A, 25% say B, 25% say C, and-”
“25% say D,” Fox finished. “That isn’t much in the way of help. However, my mother always said that if you don’t know the answer, always choose C. So, C: The Jolly Green Geezers, final answer.”
“Fox, I don’t know how you did it, but you now have 4,000 credits!”
The audience erupted into an earsplitting round of applause over this development. Krystal was beaming, Falco was jumping up and down, and Slippy was desperately hoping the author had forgotten about the running gag over his warts. He hadn’t. Slippy’s got 1,024 now. Yuck.
“Fox, you just lucked out. With one lifeline remaining, here’s the 8,000 credit question: What is Corneria’s leading agricultural product in terms of pounds per Newton-meter squared degrees? A: Kidney beans, B: Pelvis beans, C: Capillary beans, or D: Corn, duh. (Corneria, corn, get it?)”
“Hmm, this is a toughie. I know it can’t be D, because if it was a serious choice, the author wouldn’t be trying (and failing) to turn it into a pun. And it isn’t C, because there’s no such thing as a capillary bean. But, what about Pelvis beans? Aarrgggghhh! This is so annoying!”
“Fox, you still have one lifeline left. You can 50/50 it, and see if that helps.”
“Okay, go ahead.”
“Computer, take away two of the wrong answers.”
Fox’s eyes had wandered off in Krystal’s direction, hoping to gain inspiration form her benevolent expression. But when her face suddenly contorted into a cringe, Fox was jerked back into reality.
“Sorry, Fox, but I don’t think Krystal can help you here,” said Reginald, who was sporting a similar grimace. “The computer removed A and B, leaving you with the two you thought were wrong.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Uh-oh is right.”
“Hmm, what should I do? I could take a random guess, but…” Fox’s voice trailed off.
“Well, you could guess, and still have 1,000 credits even if you get it wrong. Or, you could walk with the 4,000 you already have.”
“It’s a hard choice, Reginald, but it’s still 1,000 more than I had when I got here. I’m gonna risk it.”
Krystal: What the heck are you trying to pull, Ace!?!? First you make the questions impossibly hard, now you're leaving everyone with a cliffy!
Ace: *Trying not to get hit by Krystal* Hey! I wanted some suspense.
Krystal: That's no excuse!
Ace: Now what if I said that the next update will be the final update where everything is resolved.
Krystal: Well...that might make it a bit better. But you still need to make it up to me.
Ace: Okay. I have just the ticket. Next update, Fox is going to do- *Is run over by Sabre, who is riding a rocket-propelled hoverround and just came out of the new Random Insanity board*
Sabre: Whee-Hee!!!
Krystal: Ouch...
I really don't have that much left to say about Pirates in this commercial, except to say that it is the second in my "Game show" series of fanfics, and is a direct sequel to Millionaire. And, since it is in the "game show" series, that means that there will be a game show in there.
"But Ace, how do you put a game show in a fic set years before gameshows were invented?" you ask.
Simple. I write it in the exact same style as Millionaire, making anything possible. And really, really funny.
Uh-oh, it looks like Fox's goose is cooked. Or is it? Remember, I'm the one writing this, so the twists and random events aren't going to end until the last sentence. And even that is going to be unexpected. (Hint, hint) Anyhoo, this is the second to last update for this fic. Nooooo! But fear not, I have plenty of other hilarious fun up my sleeve for the future!
Fox: *Walks up to Ace*
Ace: Huh? I thought this post was over.
Fox: *Reads a slip of paper* Nope, it says here that you forgot something.
Ace: What'd I forget?
Fox: *Pulls out a dart gun and shoots Ace*
Ace: *Is hit by a dart*
Fox: That. *Walks away*
---
“Okay, for a guaranteed 1,000 credits, what is the square root of 241.89? A: 21.93, B: 39.12, C: 15.55, or D: Cheese.”
“What? Well, uhh, I can’t rightfully say that I know. I never was much on math. I believe I’ll use my phone a friend lifeline.”
“And who would you like to call?”
“Peppy Hare, our retired wingman and generally knowledgeable guy.”
“Okay, we’ll try to connect you to him. This lifeline, courtesy of TT&A phone company will give you thirty seconds to figure out the answer. Start the clock!”
Fox desperately hoped Peppy would be there. No one knew he’d be on the show today, but Peppy was usually at home.
“Ring……Ring……Ring……Hello. You have reached Peppy Hare. I’m not in right now, but leave you name, number, and a brief message, and I will return your call…”
“I’m afraid he isn’t there, Fox.”
“…Unless this is Fox calling from Millionaire, in which case the answer is C: 15.55, which is actually a rounded figure. The full decimal is really 15.552813-”
“Time’s up. Looks like Peppy pulled through after all.
“Wow, wasn’t expecting that. I’m surprised he didn’t say ‘Don’t worry, Fox. Trust your instincts!’ like he always says.”
“Vibbbbbbbbbbbb…”
“Sorry, Reginald. I got a text message. Hey, it’s from Peppy! It says: ‘Don’t worry, Fox. Trust your instincts!’ Figures.”
“What’s your final answer?”
“I’m going with Peppy. C, 15.55, final answer”
“You have 1,000 credits, congratulations!”
“Whoo!!!” Fox was ecstatic.
“Let’s move on. For 2,000 credits, here’s the next question: If a tree falls down in a forest, and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound? A: Yes, B: No, C: Depends on the type of tree, or D: Only on Tuesdays.”
The camera zoomed in on Krystal, who was fuming.
She jumped out of her seat and said: “What type of question is that!?! That’s a riddle, not trivia!”
“Woah, calm down Krystal!” Reginald couldn’t let her get too riled up. But before he could say anything more, Fox cut him off.
“Relax, Krys. I read this one in a riddle book before. The answer is D, final answer.”
“Correct! Only nine more questions, and you’ll have a cool million!”
“All right, carry on.”
“This one’s worth 4,000 credits. Which music group recently won a major award in the category ‘Best Celtic/Polka Tune Played While Riding Unicycles’ with their hit single, ‘Woah! I’m Losing My Balance!’ Was it A: The Accordion Nomads, B: Donald and the Trumps, C: The Jolly Green Geezers, or D: One-Wheeled Wonder?”
“You mean that’s a type of music?”
“Hey, I just read the questions, the nutjob writing this story makes them up.”
“I think I’m polling the audience on this one.”
“Okay, audience, pick up your voting devices and vote now.”
<Insert really annoying music here>
“Uhh, Fox, I don’t think the results are going to help you much.”
“Why’s that?”
“25% say A, 25% say B, 25% say C, and-”
“25% say D,” Fox finished. “That isn’t much in the way of help. However, my mother always said that if you don’t know the answer, always choose C. So, C: The Jolly Green Geezers, final answer.”
“Fox, I don’t know how you did it, but you now have 4,000 credits!”
The audience erupted into an earsplitting round of applause over this development. Krystal was beaming, Falco was jumping up and down, and Slippy was desperately hoping the author had forgotten about the running gag over his warts. He hadn’t. Slippy’s got 1,024 now. Yuck.
“Fox, you just lucked out. With one lifeline remaining, here’s the 8,000 credit question: What is Corneria’s leading agricultural product in terms of pounds per Newton-meter squared degrees? A: Kidney beans, B: Pelvis beans, C: Capillary beans, or D: Corn, duh. (Corneria, corn, get it?)”
“Hmm, this is a toughie. I know it can’t be D, because if it was a serious choice, the author wouldn’t be trying (and failing) to turn it into a pun. And it isn’t C, because there’s no such thing as a capillary bean. But, what about Pelvis beans? Aarrgggghhh! This is so annoying!”
“Fox, you still have one lifeline left. You can 50/50 it, and see if that helps.”
“Okay, go ahead.”
“Computer, take away two of the wrong answers.”
Fox’s eyes had wandered off in Krystal’s direction, hoping to gain inspiration form her benevolent expression. But when her face suddenly contorted into a cringe, Fox was jerked back into reality.
“Sorry, Fox, but I don’t think Krystal can help you here,” said Reginald, who was sporting a similar grimace. “The computer removed A and B, leaving you with the two you thought were wrong.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Uh-oh is right.”
“Hmm, what should I do? I could take a random guess, but…” Fox’s voice trailed off.
“Well, you could guess, and still have 1,000 credits even if you get it wrong. Or, you could walk with the 4,000 you already have.”
“It’s a hard choice, Reginald, but it’s still 1,000 more than I had when I got here. I’m gonna risk it.”
---
Krystal: What the heck are you trying to pull, Ace!?!? First you make the questions impossibly hard, now you're leaving everyone with a cliffy!
Ace: *Trying not to get hit by Krystal* Hey! I wanted some suspense.
Krystal: That's no excuse!
Ace: Now what if I said that the next update will be the final update where everything is resolved.
Krystal: Well...that might make it a bit better. But you still need to make it up to me.
Ace: Okay. I have just the ticket. Next update, Fox is going to do- *Is run over by Sabre, who is riding a rocket-propelled hoverround and just came out of the new Random Insanity board*
Sabre: Whee-Hee!!!
Krystal: Ouch...
---
I really don't have that much left to say about Pirates in this commercial, except to say that it is the second in my "Game show" series of fanfics, and is a direct sequel to Millionaire. And, since it is in the "game show" series, that means that there will be a game show in there.
"But Ace, how do you put a game show in a fic set years before gameshows were invented?" you ask.
Simple. I write it in the exact same style as Millionaire, making anything possible. And really, really funny.
---
Uh-oh, it looks like Fox's goose is cooked. Or is it? Remember, I'm the one writing this, so the twists and random events aren't going to end until the last sentence. And even that is going to be unexpected. (Hint, hint) Anyhoo, this is the second to last update for this fic. Nooooo! But fear not, I have plenty of other hilarious fun up my sleeve for the future!
Fox: *Walks up to Ace*
Ace: Huh? I thought this post was over.
Fox: *Reads a slip of paper* Nope, it says here that you forgot something.
Ace: What'd I forget?
Fox: *Pulls out a dart gun and shoots Ace*
Ace: *Is hit by a dart*
Fox: That. *Walks away*
