Help Me Find My Face

[terrablues]

my face is falling
all over the floor
a sight to abhor

I pick it up and re-attach it
to the muscle hanging from my skull
but it doesn’t stay put

my face is falling and I’m crawling to find it

hard to focus
just damned awful

holy christ
I’m in pitiful shape

the little chillens see me
without even a godforsaken face
just no face at all

and I see the looks of horror
and the gazes of disbelief
on the faces of the little chillens
it makes me cry
and the tears sting
‘cause, of course, I have about me no face

it slid right down … right off my face bones
right down my chest
it was briefly slowed by my knees
so there it must be
at my feet

but I bend to reach and pick it up
and it aint there
I must have inadvertently kicked my face

I crawl almost blindly
feeling for something …
anything resembling my face


my face wasn’t that great to begin with
but it was my face indeed
now I don’t have one
I’m now one of the many
… faceless people
I’ve often heard of

at least I’ve got some eyeballs
if I can get the blood out of them
long enough to see
I might be able to locate my lost face

the chillens are laughing at me
but my own child is crying
poor little man is embarrassed beyond belief

his daddy aint got no face
and that’s nothing to brag about

I scurry and I hurry
appearing ever the fool

how the hell did I manage to lose my face?
I ask no one in particular

and the answer came to me
from … would you believe it?
… a talking face in the sky
not mine mind you
but a face unlike any I’d ever seen

and this face in the sky had lips
and they moved and bumped together
and some spittle escaped them
as this face spoke to me

he admonished me
did this face in the sky

said I had not taken good care of mine
said I was not a good father
… not a good husband
… not a good son
… not a good brother
… not a good friend
… not a good person

I stood motionless
and, of course, faceless
for what could I say?
I couldn’t disagree
this face in the sky was right
absolutely, inarguably, without a doubt … correct
I was at least as sorry as he said I was

so I admitted these things to him

and I asked him, the face in the sky, to identify himself
… he did
said he was none other than God

God? … THE God? … the God of gods?
… the father of Jesus? … the big daddy of em all?
… I inquired

“yes”, he answered

God asked me if I had any questions

I said, “yes, I have but one …
… will you help me find my freakin' face?”

[rocha]

Stark and compelling vision ....nightmarish and yet humorous at times....great metaphor on the search for identity ......like the form....great reading.....great writing.

[davidmm]

Rather a clever extended metaphor for the search for ourselves? Semi serious, semi humorous and strking a reasonable balance between the two.
As I read it, I notice the repetition of the words "my face" a little too often which, to me, jars a little. For example'

I crawl almost blindly
feeling for something …
anything resembling my face

my face wasn’t that great to begin with
but it was my face indeed

Thtree times in three lines in this instance overdoes it a little. Other than that, this is rather enjoyable.

[jesternight]

I dunno Terrablues.......it didn't sound much like a god to me.........sounded more like your wife when you bin drinkin'.........or on any other handy occasion.

[Worthington]

Satirical and funny, caustic and ironic, biting and jesting ... so many things all at once. I liked it.

[terrablues]

Thank you all for your observations, words of encouragement and criticisms. David, you are correct. I sometimes get lost in the moment and repetitive use of the same or similar words go unnoticed by me. It is something I have been and will continue to improve upon. AS a point of clarification (and confession) the orignal title of this piece is "Help Me Find My (effing) Face" and througout the f-word appeared. Not overly used in my opinion ... I am of the mind, right or wrong, that a few strategically placed "adult" words can, I say can, serve as an amplification or punch to the piece.

You might be right there Jesternight ... maybe it wasn't god but merely my wife speaking from above me as i lay drunk on the floor. hehehe damn rum

[jesternight]

I think 1] synonyms 2] backwards references 3] contextual references.....make good substitutes for exact repititions of the same words over and over.

I have always been skittish of reusing the exact same word in close proximity to itself......[lacks originality for one thing]......and have tried to develop writerly compensations for that tendency on my part.......

[festus50]

I'd ask for a billion dollars for a new face.

[jeannerené]

terrablues,

As both David and Rocha have already stated ... I also thought this a great metaphor on the search for one's identity or even finding a "lost" identity.  Loved the use of humor, making your quest all the more real and recognizable to the reader.

I would agree in theory about the over use of a single word or phrase, but for certain poems I'd really have to say that I think the repetition works. So I'm going to say ...perhaps trim the poem down a tad bit ... and I do mean "tad" ... dropping a few lines that have within them the use of "face" and may not be quite so integral to the poem on the whole.
But to substitute another word for "face" ... I'd say "no" ... not for this poem.  The particular tone of this poem is important and to substitute another word, one more complex or less familiar than the simple and straightforward "face" would mess with the tone/personality of the poem.  So ... those are my thoughts....

.... as far as effing .... swear words are not censored at PH ... as Admin I have set the permissions as such ... and I am one who believes that the right swear word, in the right place, in the right poem is perfectly acceptable and legit.  I think it is pretty easy to tell the difference between when a swear word is used to "just be swearing for effect or insult" and when one is used to move a poem along in thought and message.

........... thanks for posting terrablues ...

.jeanne.

[Purple]

This is clever... as Worthington said I too enjoyed the caustic humour in this. We all hide behind masks at times.... but rum is great at dropping them!