Poetic Horizons - Milkface/

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Dec 8, 2009, 5:16am

Poetic Horizons :: Poetry :: Poems in Progress/Thorough Critique Wanted & Poetry Discussion :: Milkface/

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Topic: Milkface/ (Read 74 times)

keltinae
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Milkface/
« Thread Started on Aug 27, 2009, 12:13am »

for Ibtihal Ahmed

وش اللوم ما بنزاح بلملعقه"
زي اثر سلم الحوش مابختفي وسط الطين في المطر
"كان ظنك جرس الحقيقه وانا ابكم مبتسم اسقي الجميع بكاس تعرفينه جيدا
-خالد التني

You were right about him,
With your psychology books and spirituality،
You guessed in that gypsy way of yours،
That we would lose our jobs,
At first I thought you bitter, unlucky
But you were only truthful, that afternoon.

We both collapsed under all those lights and pressure
Like Ice cream propped carefully for a magazine ad,
But he managed fine, without you at first, then me.

When we got in the way he took the liberty to change our script
We became slanted stage directions,
A nod, a hiss, a crackle, an effect
What did we honestly expect?

That we'd be given the stamp and emblem of his entourage,
A front row view of his glamorous parade,
I'm afraid I can only blame the bright lights
The ways deers do before their spirits pass.

I have auctioned off my costumes and initialed socks,
I have joined a yoga class, and begun collecting rocks
I am looking for that life we discussed in that brochure,
I am amazed at how easily chakras wash, I am pure....

You were right about him,
Now we have identical piercings,
And scars we can brag about over coffee.

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"My voice has the habit of talking to your bones, I cannot control the secrets they disclose, I just know, the price is heavy."

rocha
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Re: Milkface/
« Reply #1 on Aug 30, 2009, 12:57pm »

Hi K.
Enjoyed the read...this leaves more questons than answers ( as usual

..... why Milkface ?.... and have you really begun collecting rocks??
Your poems always make me feel chilled out......good stuff.

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jeannerené
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Winter's Rose
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Re: Milkface/
« Reply #2 on Sept 3, 2009, 10:19pm »

Transition ... and acceptance of change is what I sense ... but always so many textures and levels to your poetry.

Love you word choices and your unique phrasing ... I love to reread and admire what you've said and why you've chosen to say it the way you did.

Thank you for posting ....

I visited your blog!

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[MpB:http://x3d.xanga.com/f06c813060031233451245/b184223520.jpg]~ Enter Old Glory

Light Images
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Re: Milkface/
« Reply #3 on Sept 9, 2009, 5:30pm »

This is a very interesting circle of emotion you bring to the page. The images are clearly presented causing the reader to think. I like the title, feel the anger, the desolation and the power. I wonder if the Chakras are really washed?

Just as a thought only, the two long lines could possibly be shortened a tad . . . really nice writing, Light

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